Where does self esteem come from?

Where does self esteem come from?

As a life coach and counselor, I’ve tried to help many people who had very low self-esteem. This problem negatively affected every aspect of their lives. What we all need to understand is that real self-esteem comes from our Father in Heaven, and he is always willing to give us more. We acquire it by getting to know him and feeling his love for us. We do this by reading his word, praying, listening, serving, and spending time with him.

Our worth goes all the way back to when God created the universe, our planet, and humanity. Then he created you because he loves you. In fact, God is the very definition of love. He created you so he could love you and so that you could love him. He loves you when you’re making good decisions bad ones, or whether you think you deserve it. He loves you whether you feel it or not and whether you love him back. 

There’s nothing you can do to make God stop loving you. It’s simply not possible. His love for you is based upon his character and not on anything you do. He can love you this much because he is good, not because you are.

Evidence of God’s love is that he sent his only Son, Jesus, into this world, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) 

When Jesus allowed himself to be crucified, he was saying to you, “I love you so much I’m willing to die for you so that I won’t have to live through eternity without you.”

As you go about your day today, know that God is loving you at every moment, no matter what. God wants you to feel his love because it will transform you when you feel it. If you have never felt God’s love, it doesn’t mean you never will. It means you haven’t been doing the things needed to feel it. You must learn to communicate in God’s language. The language of the spirit. It’s worth any price we must pay for the ability to feel his love and hear his will for us. It will transform us into a much better versions of ourselves.

Saul is a great example of this kind of change. He was a religious extremist that hunted and murdered Christians. One day, on the road to Damascus, he saw the resurrected Jesus.

Jesus said to Saul, “Why are you persecuting me?”

Saul fell to his knees and said, “My Lord and my God.”

Seeing Jesus and feeling his love, changed Saul on the spot. The man who had killed Christians became a devoted and loving apostle of Christ. Saul, now known as Paul, wrote most of the New Testament, including some of the most beautiful words on love ever written.

The love of God is the only thing that can change someone this much. If you are seeking after knowing God’s love, I offer you these verses and implore you to look for more. These are God’s words for you because he loves you.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love. (1 John 4:18)

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. (Ephesians 3:18-19)

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35, 37-39)

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. (Romans 5:5)

The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. (Jeremiah 31:3)

When I found hope

For years I suffered not knowing that I didn’t have to feel so bad. Many therapists had ideas about what would fix my broken heart but they were like bandaids on cancer. I have always been a religious person but believing in God and knowing God are completely different things.

When I started looking at Jesus Christ as a real person and pursued a relationship with him, I began to understand that he is the only one who could heal my broken heart. It’s his job as our Savior to teach us how to let the pain go, but the only way he can teach us is if we are close enough to feel his love and let him tutor us everyday. CS Lewis taught us this when he said, “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” It’s generally not an instant healing, it develops along with our genuine friendship with him. 

He wins us over with his compassion and wisdom. He speaks to us with the language of the spirit and we learn that language as we converse with him. It takes faith and time and I know how hard that is for most people, but the opportunity to hear God and be healed by him is worth any price we are asked to pay. Peace is the ultimate prize.